


Jerry Tales

by FitzgLivviep



Category: Scandal (TV)
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Gay Male Character, M/M, Multi, Secret Crush, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-02
Updated: 2017-02-26
Packaged: 2018-09-03 16:56:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 15,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8721559
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FitzgLivviep/pseuds/FitzgLivviep
Summary: Really short chappie





	1. 4 more Years

Disclaimer: I do not own Scandal or the charcters. Same applies to chapter 1-30.

My name is Fitzgerald Thomas Grant IV. Yeah I know that name but I like it because of my father but with his father I hate it so I go by Jerry. Anyways, I’m going to take you on a journey of the White House- that’s right the White House. I am the first born son of Fitzgerald Thomas III. I am 16 and I live in a house and surrounded by people who are killers or liars. You’re asking how do I know these things and its simple I get it from my momma. I guessed I inherited her skill to get what I want with just a few words and an unwavering smile. So with that said I get to sneak of campus undetected and roam the halls of this house and when the kids are away the adults play. Case and point take the time my dear ol’ sister decided to be wild and free.

Night of re-election: JPOV

Four more years of this torture chamber, keep clapping, smile at Karen, next Mellie, and now dad and breathe. Where is Liv? She’s the only one who can keep me sane at these things, thinking about it really where is she? I’m worried. After the speech and the hand shaking there is more hand shaking and speeches. I just go thru the motions at these things and I guess Karen sensed my reluctance because she’s walking over to me with that look in her eye.

“Jer what’s up? Dad won we are all happy.”

“Oh young naïve baby sis.” I give her my side smirk that I got from our dad.

“Whatever.” Jerry was tired of all the bullshit that came with being the President’s son and all the fucking politics. He was ready to be free, he knew his father was too and I knew exactly the person to help them get out or make the next 4 years livable. In the Presidential Motorcade with all the Grants I call my “mom” she answers on third ring.

“Hello.”

“Hey.”

“What’s wrong, Jerry you don’t sound like yourself.”

“I’m glad someone noticed. Nothing much just needed to hear a friendly voice,” he says glancing in his parents direction who had Teddy in his car seat in between them.

“Where are you?”

“In the limo.”

“Jerry,” she says sternly.

“Oh come on, tell me this isn’t the least bit funny?”

“Jerry it is not funny, but tell the President and First Lady congratulations for me.”

“Aren’t we past that? You can tell him yourself, he’s staring at me with wonder and questions in his eyes.”

“You better not , goodnight Jerry.”

“Goodnight Li…, he glances at his parents and sister with a smirk on his face, “goodnight my lady.”

Shutting his phone he stares back at his dad.

“Who was that son?”

“Just some girl, no woman that I talk to from time to time.”

“Do I get a name?”

“Nope.”

“You know I can just get your phone records.”

“Burner phone.”

“Why do you have a burner phone and where did you get it?”

“Because of situations like this and does it matter how I got it?”

“Jerry!”

“Yes mother,” he asks with mock enthusiasm sitting up and batting his eyes at her.

“Where did you get it and why?”

“Let’s just say that the school you pay big bucks for has a lot of shady things going on, plus I learned from the best,” looking him directly in his eyes, “better than the boys in the White House. Dad didn’t catch on to the underline confession that I said.

Fitz knew he was careful around the kids, so there was no possible way that Jerry knew about him and Olivia, but the way Jerry was smirking with his head titled to the side with a smirk on his face. Could he know?


	2. Secrets

3 weeks later   
Dad and Mellie are in another fighting match in the Oval. I went and listened thru the door because it wasn’t closed all the way and I couldn’t find Karen to bug and mom was M.I.A.  
“You should be glad she called her.”  
“Why? I’m her mother not that whore you brought into all this. Who the hell falls for their mistress? You got to be the first man in history to do so.”  
“Do not talk about her at all. This isn’t about me or her”  
“Always to her defense”  
“Fuck Mellie our daughter has a sex tape out there somewhere.”  
“I wonder which parent she gets it from.”  
“Screw you Mellie,” he yells.  
“If you would just do that we wouldn’t be in this mess,” she yells back  
“Don’t flatter yourself Mellie. I gave up a long time ago trying to make us work or get any from you. You said it yourself I could barely get it up to conceive Teddy.”  
Laughing under my breath I can’t help but give dad a mental high for that one. Wow Karen has a sex tape, I didn’t think she had it in her. And Mellie said Karen was just like dad, so that means that dad and mom have a ughh I don’t want to think about it anymore. Poor Mellie she must be all dried up. Making it to Karen’s door I knock checking it again before I turn in for the night.  
“Go away!”  
“Not happening what’s up with you and why are you packing?”  
“Back to school.”  
“Why?”  
“Because Jerry, God are you done with all the questions.”  
“Not even close. So sis whats this I hear about a sex tape. I didn’t know you had little dirty in you.”  
“GET OUT!!”   
“Nah I think that will not be my doing. Spill”  
Sighing, “how did u find out? Did you see it? Please tell me you didn’t get a copy?” she asks in a panic.

“Eww please I don’t want to see my baby sister riding some guy.”  
“Jerry.”  
“Don’t try to act all innocent now, I have questions for you.” She gives him a long look before nodding in the agreement that he could ask any question he wanted.  
“1-Are you okay did he hurt or force you? 2-What in the blue hell made you think it was okay to make a sex tape? 3-why did you call Liv? 4-Did you use protection?”  
Walking over to her closet letting out a big sigh she opens the doors and sits down on the floor waiting for Jerry to follow and close the doors. This was there thing since they were kids. If either of them felt scared, just wanted to talk, or just get away from it all they would sit in the closet behind the clothes.  
“Okay no they, she says stretching the word, “didn’t force me. I just have been feeling overwhelmed and drowned. Mom has been trying to get me to be like her I can tell. I just needed something in my control and this was the only thing I can control, so no they didn’t hurt me or force me. I kinda gave them the idea and pushed it along; they had reservations because they knew I was. As far as the taping I didn’t know it was happening because I was too drunk and high. I didn’t know what was happening all I knew was that I had control or at least I thought. I called Liv somehow because I ditched my detail and I knew she was the only one who could find me without too many eyes on us. She fixes things like this plus she would help me before scolding me, I trust her. We got on the plane she tells Cyrus to call dad and that’s when I got a message of the video.” Tears were streaming down her face now and I pull her into a hug and let her cry on my shoulder. I felt bad for my sister she just wanted control over her life and she did this to get it. It was stupid but I understood her pain because I was holding a secret of my own.  
“Well Kare I’m mad this is how your first time was and I’m angry that those fuckers thought it was okay to tape it, but you can’t run from this. Liv is on the case and she will protect you from it getting out but you have to fight back which means you’re going to have to tell every detail of what happened to her, maybe Mellie and dad, but I’ll be there with you every step.”  
“Thanks Jerry.”  
“No problem lil sis I got you but shit is about to go down.” Staying in the closet longer they end up falling asleep and that is where Fitz finds them. Taking a moment to look at his kids thinking how much him following a dream screwed his kids up in the ultimate way. They had to grow up quicker than necessary.  
“Guys wake up,” at hearing her dads voice she pops up instantly and hugs him crying.  
“Daddy I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for any of this to happen and I hope it doesn’t affect your job even though I know it will if it comes out.”  
“Don’t worry about my job sweetheart. What we have to do next is going to be grueling but we have to do it. First you’re going to see the doctor, after that Olivia should be back here with her team okay?”  
“I messed everything up.”  
“No, you didn’t, you made a mistake but nothing is messed up, okay?  
Hugging her dad again she kisses him on the cheek and walks towards the bathroom with her head hanging low and shoulders slumped.  
“Karen no shower or changing your clothes honey.”  
“But dad…”  
“Please Karen?”  
“Okay.”  
Jerry was still on the floor watching the interaction between his father and sister. He knew his dad was seething and broken all at the same time, he was suppose to protect us at any cost and if being President didn’t help him with that cause what was the point in having the job.  
“Dad how you holding up?”  
“I’m fine Jerry. How are you?”  
“Just trying not to go off the handle and kill those guys for doing this.”  
“I’m right there with you bud. Promise me you’ll come to me for anything at anytime, even if you j ust want to talk   
about sports, school, or girls.”  
“You don’t have to worry about that.”  
“Jerry you and your sister are both at that age, and I don’t want either of you to think that me being President comes before you. I can’t have a girl hurting you like these guys are doing to Karen.”  
“Like I said dad you don’t have to worry about me and….”  
Fitz was about to ask what he was going to say but Karen walked in to the room and he knew that this conversation was placed on hold but not forgotten.  
“I’m ready.”  
“Okay pumpkin lets go. I love you.”   
“Love you to daddy.”  
Finally getting up of the floor Gerry walks over to hug Karen, “just remember everything I told you last night  
“Jerry about what we were on..”  
“Dad I need to shower, we can table that for now.”

I pull Karen out the room with me before I break and spill my guts to dad. There was one person I felt comfortable telling at the time and that was by accident. But someone knew.


	3. Door to the Light

Later that day

"We need to handle this one with care."

"Does she have any more details to give us?" Quinn asks

"Nothing yet, she really didn't talk to anyone last night after we landed."

"If we can figure out a face I can pinpoint the persons phone," Huck chimes in not looking up from his computer screen.

"Did you print out all the pictures of the males at the party?"

"Yeah we can post them on the board and maybe she can remember something."

Coming down the hall Karen and Mellie were having a chat, well Mellie was ordering more than talking to her daughter.

"You're going to go in there and find the first guy you see and say it was them so this can be all over."

"How is that going to solve anything?"

"Karen don't talk back to me and just do it." Walking in the room Mellie sees Olivia and the board of all the boys that attend the party, looking back at Karen with a look that she better stick to the plan. Olivia pulls Karen over to the board and asks her to breathe and try to remember anything about the guys.

"Can't we just pick two of them out give them hush money which will flush out the real culprits."

"No Mellie we cannot do that because what if these boys get mad and releases it to the web. They don't know they are standing on something that can not only hurt Karen forever but take down this house."

By that time Fitz and Jerry walked in, Olivia had to re explain where they were and what Mellie had suggested. Fitz just stared at Liv not believing what was coming out her mouth about Mellie. Their stare down was long and she knew that she needed to break it before Mellie said something in front of the kids.

Breaking eye contact, "Mr. President how do you want to continue…,"before she can finish Jerry is picking her up and giving her the biggest bear hug, "Jerry Grant put me down."

"Sorry I just haven't seen you in a month and haven't talked to you in like three days."

"Sorry about that kid, been busy but I'll do better promise."

"I understand, so why don't we get this fucked up family reunion started."

"Jerry," Mellie, Fitz, and Olivia all scream and he just shrugs it off and tosses an arm around Karen

"Damn Karen you did work, " causing both of them to laugh.

"The only reason I'm laughing right now is to keep from dying of embarrassment and run and go hide in a dark hole."

"You got this sis."

Olivia gets to work with Karen, Quinn, Huck, and Jerry while Fitz and Mellie go over the news from the doctors. Once the doctor leaves they sit quietly one the sofa away from each other. Olivia can feel him watching her every move and silently curses him in not playing the part, this was not the time or place, but who was I to tell him to play a part. She was staring at him out the corner of her eye every chance she got. All she wanted to do was hug him and tell him that it was going to be okay and she loved Karen as her own and would do everything in my power to help her. Taking a chance she looks up at him and that was a mistake.

Trying to diffuse the situation a little, "I have it handled Mr. President."

Mellie had the look of pure disgust on her face. Not wanting to be in the presence of either them any longer she got up and left slamming the door behind her. Jerry noticed the exchange look that his dad and Liv gave each other and smiled.

"So Karen why don't you go find mom and bring her back."

"Why?"

"Maybe a small break from the wall will clear your mind?"

"I guess."

While Karen was leaving Fitz and Olivia were still staring at each other, and seeing this I knew I had to have a little fun.

"So mo..Liv since we haven't talked in a couple of days, what's new in your life, any new scandals of your own?"

Breaking from Fitz intense stare, "what was that?"

"You, any dirty little secrets?"

"Jerry your being inappropriate," Fitz warned.

Before Jerry could reply Karen was flying back in the room straight to Jerry.

"Whoa what's wrong?"

Reaching for his daughter, "Karen what's wrong?"

Before he can make contact she pulls away and yells for him not to touch her. Everyone was surprised to say the least she couldn't have been gone more than 5 minutes after Mellie left 10 minutes ago. Gearing up to ask her what was wrong again Mellie came rushing in and he knew it was her fault that his sister was crying.

"Karen it didn't look like the way you thought."

All trace of sadness instantly disappears and is replaced with anger spinning around towards her mother, "really because I may not have a lot of experience but I know exactly what sucking dick looks like."

"What," yells Fitz

The room is completely silent before Karen spoke up again, "You were on your knees with your face in Uncle Andrews's crotch, while he was gripping your hair and moaning. Yet here you stand making me hate dad for cheating on you when you were out doing the same thing."

I looked over at dad and to say the least it looked like he was breathing, he was red which only means he was going to blow and his target was going to crumble into a thousand pieces.

"Where is he?"

And Olivia steps up because she knew that dad was about to go off the wall but the next thing they knew he was out the door and she was right behind him yelling at us to stay put.

Clapping my hands slowly, "good job Mellie, at least dad goes away from the house so we don't have anything like this happen. Your own daughter is going thru something and you go suck cock, prime example Mellie but it is kind of sick are you seriously trying to top your daughter in a scandal?"

"Jerry I am your mother you don't talk to me like that," surprised by him.

Grinding my teeth I try to keep as calm as possible, "Mellie you gave birth to me but that is where our connection stops got it. I have no feelings toward you."

"What the hell is going on? What did you mean by dad going away from the house?" Her mind was swimming with questions.

Sighing he turns around to his sister, "Karen open your eyes, shit is about to go down and secrets are coming out of the dark."

"Dad stopped his affair; mom is the one cheating now."

"Let me tell you a story...

And that is where I'm going to end this chapter. Once again this is about Jerry telling his point of view about things


	4. Welp No Secrets Stay Buried

"Let me tell you a story,"

spreading my arms out wide I nod my head to everyone to sit, "once upon a time we an evil grandfather named Big Gerry who pushed his lovable prince of a son into politics, granted the prince liked it but he wanted to do it on his own terms. Being beaten down verbally and seeing things that would stay with him the rest of his life, he began to resent his choices. A little while later a princess comes and he falls for her and they do the happiness thing for a while he makes her his fake queen and have a kid. But what the prince didn't know was that his princess was holding on to a deep dark secret," after that last line I look Mellie dead in her eyes and can see the fear and shock overcome her because I knew her secret.

"Jerry what are you talking about?"

"Just wait it gets better the fake queen starts to resent her husband for things he did not do. Over the years they have a princess but all love is lost, if there was any to begin with. Years later the prince feels it's his time to shine and become a king. During the battle of the spot for the ultimate king spot the prince was steadily in a losing battle, the princes second in command calls in a fierce and untouchable queen. Now this queen, not to mixed with the fake one, was small and young but she was feared among many kingdoms. The battle continues for the throne and the new queen is cutting down the other kingdoms but there was still one that held a battle to them. Time comes push to shove and the prince and fake queen move into the white kingdom with their two kids. Now while the battle was happening the fierce queen and now king fell for each other but since she was not the queen that has been with the king all these years she to stay in the shadows. She was hurt by this and didn't feel comfortable anymore so she left leaving the kingdom behind. She built her own kingdom fighting battles, but secretly was still taking care of the kings kids because the fake queen couldn't be bothered with them," Fitz and Olivia a.k.a. -dad and mom to me- walk in on me talking and have no clue I'm telling their story that they thought was hidden well, "now the young prince knew that his father , the king, loved the fierce queen and she loved him, he not only knew this because of the way they looked at each other but he also saw them kissing each other like the other held the very air they breathed. The young prince was mad and surprised because it was different from knowing and seeing, and he even decided to tell the fake queen. That plan was washed away the moment he was walking to fake queens working area and heard her on the phone saying that she hated her kids and they were bargaining chips, they were just like the king having no backbone and that she needed to find out if the young prince belong to the king or the evil grandfather."

"Oh my god Jerry," Olivia gasped

"Please let me finish we can deal with it all once I'm finished because this is getting good and this is the best part in my book, as I was saying the young prince heard the fake queen and it hurt him deep. He felt betrayed by both of his parents and didn't know who he could trust but he did know from hearing the fake queen that he didn't love her anymore and he was fine with that, mother or not she was no more to him. He did feel remorse and sadness for her for what the evil grandfather did but that's where the line stops. The young prince kept to himself and played his part for awhile and as time went on he became closer to the fierce queen. Even though she hurt him she was honest with him and he felt safe and at home with her plus she visited him, gave him food, and accepted him after he told her the biggest secret of his life that no one else knew but that story is for another day," I looked over at Olivia who has a surprised look on her face that I knew her secret and said nothing but I also saw in her eyes that she was smiling because I excepted her and knew everything and she did the same for me, which I am grateful for, "the king had happy and sad days, the real queen didn't show her sadness but it could be seen in her eyes. The fake queen, well she became evil trying to stop them from seeing each other but nothing trumps true love. Fast forward till now the young prince knows all even that fact that the fake queen and second in command are a thing and that ladies and gentlemen is a fairytale for today but it still remains to be seen for the king and fierce queen happily ever after."

Taking a bow I sit down by Karen and everyone is stunned to say the least. No one knew what to say. Mellie is on the verge of tears, Liv is in her head trying to fix this, and dad just can't believe what he heard and that I knew everything. All the smart adults in the room and they all looked so clueless. It was pricless.

"So did you guys like my story, Kare?"

"So your saying that our grandfather raped mom and you could be my cousin, our parents never loved each other, dad and Liv are in love, mom and Uncle Andrew are a thing and you have knew all this from the beginning?"

"Yep, welcome to the wonderful world of politics."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Isn't it beautiful," he jesters to the adults that are still stunned silent.

"Jerry this isn't funny this is a hot mess this is our life."

"True."

Clearing his throat Fitz speaks, "guys first I want to apologize and say that I'm sorry if I hurt you in anyway. Jerry I'm sorry for how you found out and I know you have a secret that you want to share

"Dad this isn't the time and stop trying to switch the subject," I roll my eyes. Sometimes that man gets on my nerves.

"Jerry…"

Feeling fed up I lash out, "NO!"

"I don't know," Fitz breaks the tension with a belly reaching laugh out of nowhere because cats out the bag and there is nothing he can do. The laughing and awkward tension sucks in Liv, then Huck, Quinn and Mellie.

"Great they have all gone completely out of their minds," say Karen.

Joining in the laugh fest, "I didn't do that they were already bat shit crazy."

Composing himself but still with a smile on his face, "I love you son. And you're right this family is royally fucked. I can run a country but I can't handle even see the downward spiral of my family, and don't get me started on my love life."

"Fitz…," Liv starts but before she can finish he walks out the door.

"Liv I got him, can you just finish helping Karen and later we can talk."


	5. Moment With Dad

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Really short chappie

I stay by the door a second longer before walking over to him and lying down with him so the tops of our heads are touching. Maybe he has gone crazy he.

"Son let me give you a piece of advice, when you fall in love own it claim it. Don't make that person hide if it can be avoided. I have to explain something to you…"

"Dad…"

"No it's my turn to speak. I'm sorry for everything. I'm sorry for not being there for you, for hurting your mother, sister and Liv. Let me tell you it's punishment from up above that I have many strong women around me. I never meant to hurt your mother and I feel disgusted what my own father did to her. Our marriage was over before Liv came in the picture and some way I made it okay in my head, but I love Liv she's the love of my life."

"So why haven't you done anything?"

"Because as much as I hate it, we live in different worlds."

"What?!" Did he really just s may that to me. I don't give a crap if he is my father he's not going to disrespect Liv, my mom like that.

"No Jerry I'm not talking about Liv, I'm talking about the world we all live in, politics. This world has its own rules and laws. I want to be with Liv now but what price would she have to pay if I'm still in office. She would lose her business and come to hate me for ruining her life when she worked so hard to make mine as best as possible, I can't do that to her but I just want her so badly that I don't care sometimes."

"Oh you had me going there for a second. Believe me dad I know a little of what you're going thru. Look I love Liv I even call her mom but I hear you. She will be attacked just for being the woman in the situation. People will call out her work ethic, bring up her race, and just shame her I can't bare to think it but to see it would kill me."

"Jerry my boy this is what I call the Pope Effect. You see her all you want to do is make sure she is protected. So you call her mom?"

"I do, she lets me. It just seems right with her, doesn't feel forced like it does with Mellie."

We just lay there not speaking. I missed moment like this with him. I knew he didn't want to send us away but for him to protect us from Mellie he had too.

"I love you Jerry. And we will be having a conversation soon where you tell me this big secret."

"I love you too dad and we will but I'll come to you when I'm ready. Come on we better get back before someone tries to burn down the white house or they start fighting. "


	6. New Roomie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There has been a 6 month time jump. In this chapter you get to find out Jerry's secret if you already haven't.

Everything with Karen's situation got handled thanks to Liv. After they were sure everything died down we were shipped back to school by Mellie but Karen was on lock down which meant so was I. I was getting a new roommate today and I hope he was cool. I requested a roommate because I was bored of always having the room to myself. I convinced dad that it was fine and I guess he had him 'cleared'. I don't know why I was nervous but I was, something about today felt like it would be the day my life changed for the better. I hoped I seemed cool, and laid back. I wondered how I was going to tell him that I was… there's a knock on the door that brings me out of my thoughts.

"Hello."

"Hey I'm," I lose my voice because in front of me is a GQ worthy model mixed with a bit of God like type features.

"Hi I'm Zaire, you must be Jerry."

Shaking out of a stare fest of him, "that's me. It's nice to meet you."

"You too. This is kind of crazy but I get to bunk with the President's son."

"I hope that doesn't bother you much because now you are going to be followed by agents to but not all the time just when your with me, I mean that's only if you want to hang with me."

"Its fine and why wouldn't I want to hang with you?"

"President son and all doesn't keep many friends around unless they want something in return."

"Well I don't want anything from you, so I guess we will be fine."

"Cool."

"Cool. I'm going to get my stuff unpacked."

"Yea sure I'm going to get some lunch, so I guess I'll leave you to it."

"Do you mind if I join you I'm starved?"

"No problem."

WE walk to the dining hall and grab some sandwiches, chips and drinks. Instead of eating in there we decide to go back to the room. It was easy talking to Zaire, we talked about sports, clubs, our parents, TV, movies, books, all while he unpacked.

"I guess since you're my roommate I should let you know something and I hope you can keep it secret," he stated with what seemed like an unsure voice.

"Sure. I can keep a secret."

"I hope it doesn't change how you feel around me but I'll understand if you don't want me as your roommate or friend."

"Okay."

"I'm gay."

Hearing him say that stops my world and I'm skipping threw a meadow of flowers with the sun shining. I feel like this because I'm gay to. I feel like I finally have someone to talk to. I haven't told a living soul, I always knew I was because I saw the beauty in a woman but I also saw it in a man and not only did I see the beauty in a man I started having tingling feelings around guys I thought were cute. I could never act on it because I never was sure if he was gay or not. Plus my dad is republican and to them being gay is worse than the plague, so I kept my mouth shut. I know my dad isn't like them but I didn't want my sexuality to effect his job and I saw what happened when Cyrus came out it was a press horror story but he made it thru, but being the president's son that's a different story. I guess I was quiet for too long because Zaire started to hang his head, bounce, and repack some of his things.

"I guess that's my answer."

"Oh no sorry. I just do that sometimes, space out I mean. Perk of living alone for a while."

"So how do you feel about what I told you?"

"Its fine….because I'm…I'm gay too."

"What?! Get out of here, you are?"

"Yeah but I can't come out because of my dad's job."

"That sucks but I understand completely. I'm in the same boat not as large but same. I have to carry on the name, have kids, and all that grand stuff."

"I know right it is like just because I like a man doesn't mean I can't find a surrogate and still have the bloodline and keep the family name."

"Exactly but for now I keep it hush until he's out of office."

"I have 4 more years in the closet. How about you?"

"Same."

"We should throw a party when our time is up and then we should just date." I say laugh half joking and half serious.

I wasn't expecting what he said next, "I could see that happening."

I can feel my face turn red. I just met him but I guess this what people mean when its love at first sight. I just stare at him waiting for the punch line or for him to take it back, but he never does.

"What didn't expect me to say that," he sends me a devious grin.

"I…no. To be honest I've never dated or hell even flirted with anyone before."

"Never? Not even a girl."

"Nothing. Have you?"

"I talked to girls but quickly found out that I didn't like them in that way. I had one boyfriend. He was in the closet to but he dated the head cheerleader in daylight and saw me at night. I know horrible and cliché but I really liked him and I thought he liked me."

"What happened, if you don't mind me asking."

"We were hanging in the locker room and we started kissing and one of his teammates came in and I ran out of there but I forgot my wallet and had to go back to get it. I get back in there and I hear grunting and moaning. Long story short he was not only seeing the cheerleader in the daylight but his teammate and me also. He tried to explain that he meant nothing and all the basic cheater crap spill. My first relationship was some fucking TV show bullshit. After that I swore to myself I would know when I met the right guy."

"Wow. That sucks"

"It did but I'm glad I was not in love with him."

"I'm sorry."

"Thanks. Wow we've been talking for hours."

"We have. It is easy talking to you. I feel like I've know you for years."

"I feel the same."


	7. What A Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the confusion but to make it less confusing I have decided to write the story as memories. Trust me it will all fall in to place in the end. So if you see things like 5 months from now or years it is being based off the previous memory, also his coming out is just something he struggles with it's not trust it's more of fear of rejection for him.

We decide to get ready for bed. I go take a shower to try to calm my nerves because I just spent hours talking to a guy I can see myself with. Not only that, he could be a friend if we didn't get together. He did say that he wouldn't be against it, but I wonder if he was humoring me. I get out the shower with all these thoughts in my head. He's already in his bed I move quietly to mine trying not to wake him.

"Hey Jerry."

"Yea," I stop from climbing in my bed.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," I hear him shift and I look and he's out of bed, "whats up Zaire?"

"Can you come here?"

I move from my bed to meet him in the middle of the room, "what did u want to ask me?"

He moves closer to me and I start breathing quicker.

"Can you feel it?"

I knew what he was talking about but I didn't want to embarrass myself so I asked him what he meant

"This pull between us. I felt it once I laid eyes on you but I wasn't sure if you felt it too."

"I did. I do. Zaire I don't know what this is but it's strong and I barely met you today."

"I know but do you believe in love at first sight and soulmates?"

"I do and I think that can be us."

"I do too."

"Can I ask you something," I stutter out.

"Yeah."

I don't know where this courage came from but I wasn't going to let it slip by, "can I kiss you? If that was to forward I take it back, you know what we were just talking…"

He smirks and I can't help to go weak in the knees the way he says my name, "Jerry."

"Yes?"

"Stop rambling and kiss me already."

I close the little space between us. I look in his eyes for any hesitation and I don't see any. Moving my hands to his face I bring his lips to mine. His lips felt like heaven, they were super soft and had a hint of a sweet taste to them. I break the kiss first.

"Umm…" I was nervous as hell and didn't know what to say or do.

"Wow."

"Really?"

"Wow."

"Can I kiss you again?"

"You may but you don't have to keep asking. But that was your first kiss?

Dropping my head, "Yes did it show, great I'm a bad kisser."

He grabs my chin and lifts my head back up, "no you're not I remembered you saying that you never dated before and that brought along the idea of you never having a kiss but the way you kissed me it seemed like you had practice before."

"Oh yea you're my first kiss."

"Well I am honored and it will be a pleasure to kiss you again."

He leans his head down a little and our lips touch softly at first. Zaire takes the lead in this kiss and I'm glad he did. He brings his right hand up to my cheek and the other goes around my waist to pull me closer and deepen the kiss. I was intoxicated by his lips and smell. I don't know what to do with my hands and I guess he could sense it that he takes my hands in his and puts them around his waist without breaking the kiss. We only break the kiss because air is much needed. I run my hands on his hips and glide them up his muscular arms than his chest and it sends chills down my spine.

"Jerry Grant you have placed me under your spell."

"Zaire that was.."

"Amazing or horrible there's only two ways this can go and I hoping it was the first."

"It was perfect."

"I'm glad I can help."

"What does this mean?"

"What does what mean?"

"This kiss, what we feel?"

"I don't know but I can't ignore this feeling and I don't want to. How do you feel, I know this is moving fast and this is your first kiss and relationship talk."

"I want to explore us and you," I glance in to his eyes.

"Explore away."

And with those words I kiss him again. We end up making out till our lips were swollen and we quenched our thirst for the night.

Laughing I look at him, "well I got a new roommate, a boyfriend, my first, and make out session all in one day. Talk about putting in work."

"You Jerry are funny and we are going to be great."

"We are."

Somehow we ended up on the floor lying on our sides and I couldn't be any more comfortable. I entwine our hands and kiss his hand in mine, "we should get to bed, we have class in a couple of hours."

"Okay," we stand and are still holding hands, "night boyfriend."

I giggle, yea I know giggle because I'm so happy and giddy plus I'm someone boyfriend, "night boyfriend." We kiss again and I get in my bed and feel at peace when I close my eyes.


	8. Busted

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to repeat myself this story really doesn't have a timeline so when you see time jumps it is a jump from the previous chapter. I promise it all will make since in the end. In this case it's been about 3 months since they met.

Over the next couple of months Zaire and I get to know each other more. We just got each other there was no need for an explanation, we just connected and when it feels right it feels right. Date nights consisted of us holding hands at the movies when we could get off campus, playing games and plain old sitting and talking. And we would kiss more than ever. We could not get enough of each other, I remember one day that he came back to our room from practice and things got heated.

I was changing out of my uniform when he came rushing in. He threw his gym bag down on his bed, ripped off his shirt and turned on me. This was the first time he seen me without a shirt and me him. I know were roommates but I guess I felt self conscious and he felt it so we made sure to change in the bathroom I knew he was chiseled like Adonis but to see it I became weak in the knees. He rushed me and slammed me against the door and started kissing me hard.

"Damn you look good."

In between kisses I managed to get out a few words, "Hello to you too, what's got in to you?"

"I missed my boyfriend that's all."

He shuts me up by taking my tongue in his mouth and I moan in his mouth.

"God I love hearing you and tasting your mouth."

He moved his mouth to my neck and my mind went blank, to form a sentence seemed like the hardest thing to do. I moaned even louder that the agent knocked on the door.

"Sir is everything okay in there?"

Z was still attacking my neck that I had to bite my lip before answering that everything was fine. I pull him to my bed and climb on top of him before I can change my mind.

"Well let's see what sound I can get out of you."

I kiss his spot at his pulse point and it earns me a groan. Our hips start grinding into each other thru my pants and his basketball shorts and we are lost in the moment. We didn't even hear the door open and close but when we hear someone clear their throat we pull apart and I see the last person I wanted to see at this particular moment, no one other then my mom.

"MOM!"

"Jerry and Jerry's friend."

"Umm..," to say the least I was mortified, crawling under a rock still wouldn't hide the embarrassment I was feeling and I look over at Zaire and he looks like he's going to be sick. To say the least we were scared shitless, plus both wielding very noticeable rock hard erections.

"Mom this doesn't," I try to start after moments of silence and all of us looking at each other, waiting for the other to start. Now I understand when people say boner killer, that rush of blood from down south traveled quickly back north to my other head.

"Seriously are you about to say that 'this doesn't look like what I think it is'." She actually did the quote marks in the air which made me smile a little on the inside but also think how it possibly couldn't look like it was.

"I..."

"I'm going to go back out and let you two get… situated and when I come back in we will talk, okay?"

I can only nod my head. She leaves and Zaire jumps to the other side of the room.

"What do we do?"

"Za…"

"We got caught you know," he makes weird motions with his hands and I can't help but smile.

"Zai," I try again.

"Omg what if she tells our dads?"

"Zaiii just put on your shirt and try to breathe."

"Why are you singing my name and," but before he can finish she walks in and smiles at us. I can see it in her eyes that she is curious and has questions but I don't see any anger or disgust. But by the look on her face I know what ever is about to happen is just the beginning.

"Hi Jerry."

"Hi mom," I squeak out.

"Jerry, aren't you going to introduce your friend?"

"Zaire I'll like you to meet my mom Olivia Pope. Mom this is my roommate Zaire. He also is my boyfriend."

"It's a pleasure and honor to meet you miss Pope." This was the first thing he said after his small break down.

"It's nice to meet you too. It's finally good to put a face to the name that Jerry can't seem to stop talking about. 'Mom he is so cool, Zai does this and he does that,' if I would have known that you were also his boyfriend I would have popped in sooner."

"Mom," it was official Olivia Pope, my mother, was embarrassing me and loving it.

"What I don't have any cute baby pictures to share so this is all I have, total embarrassment with words."

"Mom please," I beg, "I'm sorry you had to see that. I would have told you over Face Time but I was nervous and afraid that you would disown me. It just felt unnatural to tell you that way."

"Tell me what?"

I know what she's asking and I learned from her never back down and always be proud of who you are, "I'm gay."

"Good to know. I could never disown you honey and as far as you being gay, let's just say I had a hunch. Over the years I've watched you grow so this is nothing but I am sorry too no one ever wants to see their kid in a heated make out session. That is what I walked in on?" she asks raising an eyebrow and crossing her arms over chest.

"Yes ma'am."

"So Zaire what are your intentions with Jerry?"

This is the great Olivia Pope were talking about she plays no games and gets straight to the point, "mom that's embarrassing."

"Jer I have to ask because of who you are and that's my job to protect you."

I look at Zaire and he has a look that can only be described as being completely mortified. If it wasn't bad enough we were caught making out, grinding on each other half naked what she does next I literally feel the air leave my lungs and my soul leave my body.

"Huck get me everything on a Zaire...what's your last name sweetie?"

Zaire can't speak and I have to answer for him because I can see the color draining from his face, "Kennedy. Zaire Ezra Kennedy is his name but mom..."

"Did you get that," as she puts my uncle Huck on speaker.

"I did. Let's see Mr. Kennedy is probably barely breathing right now with the color drained from his face. And Jerry looks like his soul left his body."

"They do. I was kidding guys breathe I was joking when I called to get his information. I did that long time ago."

Gaining some life back in me I'm able to spit out, "that was a cruel joke and I know this is far from over."

"You got that right."

"Umm excuse me," and Zaire runs to the bathroom closing the door behind him.

"He'll be fine, now you on the other hand, what was that I walked in on?"

"Nothing," I say to quickly and casting my eyes at the door behind her willing it open.

"Jerry you guys were in bed in a pretty heated kiss, so I ask again what was that?"

"I don't need the sex talk. Between the classes and hearing stuff I think I have things covered. And can we not do this now, I beg of you."

"Look hearing and doing are two different things. I know you're at that age and I'm not your parent but if you need to talk or have any questions…"

"I will come to you. I promise."

"As long as you're being safe and please talk to me."

"Always but you have nothing to worry about. WE haven't done anything and we haven't even talked about it ourselves. Now can we please drop this subject please?"

The bathroom door opens, "sorry about that miss Pope."

"No problem. How about we all grab an early dinner my treat? I know you boys worked up an appetite. "

"Mom!"

"Thank you for the invite miss Pope."

"Oh so formal Zaire, call me Olivia or Liv. Let me talk to the agents and get everything in order so we can leave."

She walks back out the door and the second it does Zaire is pacing and firing questions.

"Jerry Grant if you don't start explaining what the great Olivia Pope is doing here."


	9. Dinner with Mom

"The great Olivia Pope, don't let her hear you say that," he gives me an eye and I continue, "long story short you know I don't have a relationship my birth mom aka FLOTUS and I met Liv on my dad's campaign trail and ever since then we connected on a mother -son level. I call her mom when it's just us and it's like our little secret and bond. Anyways every 23 of the month it's our visit day, she hasn't been here in a while because she's been busy but I guess whatever it was is over and she's here now.

"That's why you are always gone for whole day once a month, it makes since now. Moving on do you think she will like me? I practically had my hand down your pants, which was mortifying that she caught that."

"She will love you. Come here," I gently pull him to me, "she will love you because…. cause I love you."

I can't believe I just said that but every word is true. I do love him and I want him to know. I can see the shock on his face and he is silent for a while. I panic because what if he doesn't feel the same way and I just confessed to him.

"Did you just say you love me?"

"I did and I do. You don't have to say it…"

"I love you too. I've been wanting to say it all day today, for the last week but I was too scared. I guess that's why I came back the way I did today, I couldn't hold it in anymore and I had to get back to you."

We kiss like it's our last time but before things gets to heated there is a knock on the door and we fly apart.

"We will talk later about us being love," I say sending him a wink.

Rolling his eyes, "gosh you're a cornball."

"But you love this cornball."

"Yeah yeah let's go to dinner where I have to show my best side to Olivia Pope aka your mom."

We all climb in a town car and Zaire sits with space between us. At first I get a little mad but I calm down and know he's just doing it out of respect and a little nervousness. Liv was the first one to break the silence that followed all the way from the room to the car.

"So… you two are together, how long?"

"7 months," declares with a big smile and I can swear I saw him puff out his chest.

"Really could have fooled me with that desert in-between you two."

"We…"

"Look guys from what you have told me Jerry you're gay and I'm assuming you are also Zaire; this is not some game to you right?"

"No ma'am its not. I'm gay and in this with Jerry."

"Good. I am happy to hear that but it's your love life that you have to live. I hope you find love and it finds you. I know you guys have your reasons to hide cause but I want you to be open around me. Hold hands, gaze into each other's eyes, all that because believe me those stolen moments are what can make you guys strong because it's just for you. The world is cruel, your fathers are political figures, your different races, and you're gay. There are going to be tough times ahead but as long as you communicate, and love each other things should be good. Believe me stolen moments come a dime in a dozen."

She gets a faraway look and I know she's thinking about my dad. Squeezing her knee she gives me a smile but it doesn't reach her eyes.

"Thanks mom."

"Thank you miss Pope."

"Again so formal Olivia or Liv please."

"Thank you Liv."

"Now that is settled the real fun begins," she says aw we pull up to the restaurant. All I could think was let the games begin because we are going into battle with one of my favorite people in the world.

We arrive at an Italian restaurant and go thru the back to not be seen. We are shown to a private room and we are seated by our waitress who takes our drink order. We are sitting next to each other and Liv is across from us smiling, and I can see it in her eyes she's enjoying this and is about to attack.

"Zaire tell me about yourself.

Clearing his throat and sitting up straighter, "there is not much to tell. I have straight A's but math is my hardest subject but Jerry is great at it so he helps me it out, I mean he tutors me, he doesn't do the actual work for me. My father has a seat on the senate and my mother is a stay at home mom. And I have a younger brother," he rushes out in one breathe.

"I know all about that but I want to know about you. What makes you, you?"

"Sorry I guess over the years I got use to the basic answer because people really didn't want to know about me. My father says that I can never show weakness and never gi ve people a reason to see one."

"Your father sounds like mine. Mine use to tell me that I had to be twice as great just to get half of what they have."

Something told me that 'them' meant those who had lighter skin tones.

"But enough of the deep stuff, spill."

"Right back to me, I like soccer and basketball but I love playing basketball more than soccer. I draw, play guitar for fun, play video games and I love to read."

"What do you like to read?"

"Just about anything but right now I'm stuck on comics, anime, manga."

"Jerry loves video games and I know you guys have competitions and veg out on Sundays."

"We sure do. Jer here swears he can beat me in any dancing game but won't play one against me."

"You haven't played our favorite yet?"

"Nope I've been saving it. Zai here thinks that I have the 'white boy can't dance syndrome'."

"Jerry, no I don't."

"He does."

"We will just have to show him how we get down when we get back."

"I did learn form the best."

"That you did, but hey your pops can cut a rug too kid," she says sending me a wink.

Our waitress makes her back over and we order some food. I order Chicken Parmigiana, Liv orders the Eggplant Parmigiana, and I order Chicken Cacciatorie and Cheese Manicotti. We eat and still talk about everything. I love that Liv doesn't show any sign that she loves many less and that she actually is taking a liking to him and our relationship. I feel free, and beyond loved at this moment.

"Zaire what do you want to do once you graduate?"

"Since my father is in politics which means that's where I'm headed."

"But?"

"But I want to be a lawyer/ fixer. Actually just like you Liv you are like my ideal."

"Aww that's flattering and I say go for it. Don't stop till you get there because that's how you have to take on a case. I'm not going to lie it's going to be tough but if you work hard I know you can make it and you always have me in your corner if you ever need it."

"Thanks Liv."

I lean over and kiss my boyfriend on the cheek, "see I told you it would be fine."

We finish eating and pile back into the town car and make our way back to the school. Liv talks to us a little about her case and what's going on back in D.C.


	10. New Beginnings Pt 1

Zai and I are packing up for the winter break, because we are going to spend the holidays at the White I House. Mom visited every month which was great and we talked at least three times a week, she even talked to Zai on the phone or we all Face Timed together. Over the months Karen got to know Zai too, but just as my roommate, I think she has a crush on him. They got along and that meant more to me more than either of them knew. Things between me and Zai were great. Now don't get me wrong we had our fights and moments but we also remembered what Liv said and came back to each other stronger than before. We had our date nights, I went to his games and he came to mine. We didn't take our relationship any further than second base. We talked about it and decided we both weren't ready yet. But we did come close once after my team won the lacrosse championship.

Flashback

My team just won the championship after I scored the winning goal and I was on a high from it. I couldn't wait to celebrate with Zai but my teammates had other plans.

"Jerry you're coming to the party in Kevin's room right?"

"Ummmm…"

"Your coming," he says pulling towards Kevin's.

When we arrive the party is already in full swing but when I walk thru the door it seems that the party gets louder and wilder. I get pats on the back and praise for making the winning goal. I know Zai is wondering where I am so I excuse myself from the crowd to text him to come to Kevin's. After talking to him on the phone for a little and him telling me he is on the way we hang up and I grab a beer and hit the dance floor. After what seemed like a long time I head to the bathroom to text Zai to see where he was. After no reply I go to leave but I'm pushed back in by a kid from the opposing team. He looked familiar but I paid no mind to it because it didn't matter I already knew I wasn't going to like this situation.

"I was just leaving."

"That was a nice shot," he says slurring.

"Thanks."

"You're the Presidents kid?"

"Yea man, excuse me."

"Not so fast I want to talk to you."

"Dude I can barely understand you now, you're slurring every word and we can talk outside the bathroom. I'm sure others need to get in."

I didn't see it coming and before I know it he's charging at me and crushing his lips on mine. I push him off and wipe his kiss off my lips.

"What the fuck are you doing?"

"I wanted to kiss you, so I did."

"I can see that but it will never happen again."

"Come on it will be our little secret."

" I'm cool. I should get back out there."

"You think your better than me because you're the Presidents kid!"

"What?" I knew he was trashed but that came from left field. I looked harder at him and noticed that he was Reston's kid. His dad lost to my dad to being President. I laugh a little at the fact that he was mad at not being the Presidents kid, it's funny how people get jealous of things that are not what they at all seem.

"Is there something funny?"

"Look man move my roommate is most likely looking for me." I go to move around him when he slams me against the wall, "what the fuck is your problem?"

"I always get what I want and if you don't want daddy to find out about this than if I were you I would cooperate."

He moves in to kiss me again I push him but he gains some strength on me and pushes me in to the wall again. He leans in again but someone comes in the bathroom pushing us back further into the bathroom.

"Whoa sor.. Jerry?"

Derek yells, "get the fuck out here."

I move from him and by Zai. I heard of liquid courage but he had liquid courage and strength. I can feel the aching pain in both my arms from where he was gripping. Not wanting for a fight to break out and just not wanting to be in the same room as him. I try to pull Zaire out with me, but I see a look in his eye that I've never seen before and know that this was not going to end good.

"Come on Zai lets just go."

"No what is going on in here."

"None of your business midnight."

"Midnight, wow that's a new one," Zai says with a voice laced with sarcasm.

I was fuming but I didn't want to cause a scene so I took a deep breath, "Zai drop it he's not worth it."

"Did he hurt you?"

"He tried to kiss me but I handled it. Let's go," I grab his arm and we turn to leave but not before Derek says something.

"That's a good boy, follow your master."

Everything in front of me went black. I turned and swung on him and I kept punching till I saw blood but I still didn't stop there. Zai had to pull me off of him because I wasn't able to stop on my own. Racist disgusted me. I loathed the fact that I had to live in a world where someone thought it was okay to call someone out their name because of the color or their skin or put them down because of it. I was disgusted of having to hear it and I was hurt because it aimed at the man I loved and sad because I knew this most likely wasn't the first and the way the world keeps going it wouldn't be the last. Zai was able to pull me off, I was able to see again while my heart was pounding.

"You disgust me and I should keep whipping your ass but I won't. You are scum and you better apologize right now."

"I'm sorry man."

"No you use his name," I yell. Luckily the music was blaring or I would have been heard.

"Sorry…"

"Zaire," I offer up."

"Zaire. I am sorry Zaire. And you too Jerry."

"That's no where good enough, but I'll let you off because I'm going to be the bigger person. And everything that happened in this room better stay that way or I will make your life a living hell."

"Jerry lets go we have to sneak out this bathroom before anyone puts two and two together."

I let him drag me out the bathroom because I was still seeing red. I don't know when we got to our room but when we did I stormed thru the door and started pacing and yelling.

"You should have let me kill him. That motherfucker had the nerve to call you a slave and I your master like it was a joke."

"Jerry its…"

"Don't you dare say it's alright because it's not!"

"Jerry as a black man I have come to some terms with comments like that. Its unacceptable but I know who I am and that they are not worthy of my time or anger. Yes it hurts but I can't go around fighting everyone who has something to say because I need to live my life and unfortunately I have to deal with this for the rest of my life. Plus it's just going to get worst when I come out because for some reason in the black community dating a white person means you are a sell out and giving up on your own race and being means it's just not possible. I guess it has to do with the down low men but whatever. I'm just saying that this is life."

"It is just people like him piss me off beyond reasoning. He doesn't have the right to do that to you. He doesn't even know how smart, funny, cool, and unbelievably sexy you are."

"You think I'm sexy?"

"You know I do." I stopped my pacing and look at the ground embarrassed. He still makes me nervous but in a good way. I get butterflies when he is near and I literally feel sick when he is not around. He comes over and wraps his arms around me from behind and I breathe in his scent.

"I just wish that you didn't have to deal with that and always have to feel like any day could be the day someone says that they were threatened by violence by you, being racial profiled. I wish I could protect you from that."

"Babe look at me."

It takes me a second but I finally turn and look at him and he kisses me softly placing our foreheads together. "I love you and I know you want to protect me but this life. This is life of dating a black man. This is life of a black man. There are racist and homophobic people everywhere I just have both those bridges cross."

"No we have both bridges. I got your back in all this for the rest of our lives together." Wanting to lighten the mood I say one of our inside jokes, "wanna dance?"

"With you?"

"No with my father."

"I'm Zaire."

"They call me, they call me Jerry."

We laugh at one of our common loved movies and how our names don't fit in the tune but it was ours to hold. Plus hearing the other try to carry a tune was priceless.

"We are straight corny."

"We are sad aren't we."

"Come on we left the party early and now we since we are alone we can dance together," I say.

"Okay, what song should start this dance party of ours?"

"Aint Going to Hurt Nobody, of course."

I throw my phone on my dock and turn up the volume and we start dancing, we even do Kid and Play dance from the movie. We keep dancing for I don't know how long until Chris Browns No Bullshit comes on. Lets just say once that came on you could feel the shift in the room. He quickly grabbed a chair and sat me down.

"Sit and enjoy. You deserve a nice gift for winning the game."

I will hands down bow down to that man because what he did to me without even touching me was out of this world . Once the dance was over we became a furry of hands and lips. We turned off the lights and our song started playing while clothes started coming off while still trying not to break a kiss and not loose skin contact. We go back and forth taking off each other's clothes until we are left in our boxer briefs. We climb on to his bed and start kissing again. These kisses seemed sweeter, more filled with passion and love. I could feel his erection and I knew he could feel mine.

"Zai are we really going to do this? Do you really want to take that step?"

"I don't know but I'm want to take that step but…"

"I get it, im scared too."

"Jerry believe me I want to as you can feel but maybe we should cool it until we are really really sure."

"I get it, I do," I say as I start moving off of him and off his bed.

Pulling me back to the bed, "we agreed on cooling it not that you get to sleep anywhere else but in my arms."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes I am. I may not be able to control my erection bbut I promise to be good if you are. We are just going to lay here in our world of love and sleep in each others arms."

"That sounds wonderful. And just so you know it is hard to control my erections around you too."

Kissing me on the lips then forehead, "sleep silly boy, I love you."

Giving him an around the world kiss, "I love you too Zaire Kennedy."

Presetnt

Zaire voice broke me out of me remembering the night we first slept together. It was going to be hard not sleeping in each other arms for the 2 months but I could handle.

"See something you like?" he was changing his shirt. We finally got over that and I was glad because I was gifted to seeing him in no shirt and I got to see the beauty of his six pack and v cut as much as I wanted.

Shrugging, " I guess, but I think it's more like something I love."

" Nice to know."

"Are you all packed?"

"Yep you?"

"I've been packed since the day you asked me to spend time with you in Washington, in the White House."

"I guess we should get this show on the road than," I say laughing, "I can't believe you are staying with me and we are doing the whole meet the parents thing."

After making sure they were completely packed and ready I let the agents know we are ready to go and they grab our stuff and we make our way to the plane. Once we were settled we eat, watch movies, talk, and get in a quick nap. It's not until we are about to land that I notice me and Zaire are holding hands his head is on my shoulder. We pull apart slowly just so we wouldn't alert anyone but I already know that they seen us, so I grab his hand back and promise not to let go until it was time to exit the plane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Plus their song is by James Vincent McMorrow- And If My Heart Should Somehow Stop
> 
> All characters, songs belong to the owners who make this world a little better with giving us a taste of their beautiful talents.


	11. New Beginnings Pt 2

We stand in front of the door and I sneak a quick kiss. The door opens and we exit, I let Zaire go first and think to myself here goes nothing. Barely down the stairs I see Karen speed walking trying not to run because we have press watching. She arrived a week earlier and from the way she was moving I could tell it has been one hell of a week. We get in talking distance but she doesn't even hear me because she was focused on something else.

"Hey Kare…," I think she hears but she is beaming at Zai and hugging him, "wow you hug him before your own brother."

"Shut it Jerry."

Zai and I share a look saying that we should tell her before her crush goes too far, but it still sucks because as far as I know this is her first big crush and I would be crushing her dreams. She finally lets him go; I know I shouldn't be jealous or possessive because she is my sister but it sucked that I couldn't hold him like that in the open. I push all that away and hug Karen back and I can feel the tension in her.

I look down at her, "that bad?"

"Worse."

"How?"

"With this party coming mom is coming home early while being hell on wheels."

"How's dad?"

"The same as every time..."

Saying together "hiding in his office."

"They got into it last night."

We start walking back towards Mellie who is smiling the fake smile. I look at Zai and he just looks concerned about Karen and I can't help but to love him more for showing my baby sis his concern, but I pull myself back to the present. I really don't know how dad does this when my mom is around I think.

"What about this time?"

"The guest list. I guess mom does not want Liv at the party, which is insane, but dad went off the handle and showed no room of discussion. And let's not forget she still won't get of f my case about being a 'proper girl' whatever the hell that means."

"Just forget her."

Zai speaks up, "you are fine the way you are."

"Thanks guys. Dad had an emergency this morning and told me to tell you that you should go down to his office around three and to bring Z with you. Are you nervous at meeting the President Z?" she says using the nickname.

"Yea a little but I'm here now and I consider it handled."

"Funny Liv says that too."

"Yea I guess I pic…"

Interrupting him before they go into deep about Liv, "how about we do this people."

Making it to Mellie she pulls me in for a hug. Then she shakes Zaire's hand and we make our way in. I think she was going to stay but the second we walk in the doors she's walking away without even a glance or word behind her to us. I don't know why I always get my hopes up a little but it never changes with her. Hiding the disappointment we all go to the residence and I show Z his room, which happens to be across from mine. For the next hour or so I take him around the house and lounge around. He says he was feeling the effects of the plane ride and was going to lay down, walking back up to the rooms with him I follow him to his.

"You plan on staying?"

"Is it wrong to say that I really want to?"

Walking over to me and wrapping an arm around my waist and pulling me close, "not at all. This place is something else Jerry."

"I guess I can finally call it home now."

"Why do you say that?"

"Because you're here. It would be completely perfect if my mom was here."

"You really love Liv huh?"

"Yea I do. I had a moment earlier where I felt a pull towards Mellie but I only ended getting my own hopes up. With Liv she may not be her e but she makes the hardest effort. She loves me, makes time to get to know me, she even disciplines and sets boundaries with me."

"J I know Mrs. Grant loves you in her own way."

"I know but it still hurts sometimes. I sometimes really just want my dad to say the hell with it and divorce Mellie and marry Liv. Selfish I know but I just want her around all the time and I know if I feel like this I can't imagine what my dad feels."

"J I wish I could take away that pain."

"It's fine. I'm fine. You just being here and listening is enough."

I lean in and try to give a quick kiss but he has other plans. I break the kiss and turn to lock the door and we kiss some more. I knew he was trying to make me feel better and it did but I guess that this feeling will always be there, the woman who carried and birth me didn't want me and someone who didn't carry me wanted me to be hers. After I say goodbye to Zai and tell him that I will be back to get him when it is time to go to the Oval, I make my way to the kitchen for something to eat but I end up running into the last person I wanted to see at this moment.

"Jerry sweetie how are you?"

"I'm fine. Yourself?"

"I am so busy with this dinner party. It means a lot to your fathers re election to have the Democratic leader to come here. Speaking of where is your friend?"

Sometimes I can't believe this woman was smart because at times she could say the stupidest things, "his name is Zaire and he is lying down for a bit. Can you please just remember that he is my roommate and boy…best friend."

"Of course honey," but I could see she already checked out of what I was saying, "his last name Kennedy right?"

"Yes and your point?"

"I'm just trying to get to know who you're rooming with. I remember his parents, Thomas and Jackie. Anyways I'm going to my office to finalize details some things are still in the air."

She walks out and I know she means trying to keep Liv out. I lost my appetite so I just grab an energy drink and mope a little. The head chef Roger walks in and finds me that way.

"Hello sir nice to have you back."

"Thanks but you don't have to call me sir. We talked about this Mr. Roger."

"Still a smarty pants I see. Are you hungry I can whip up your favorite, a cheesy patty melt?"

Suddenly my appetite came back with a vengeance, stomach growl and all, "I thought I wasn't hungry anymore but just hearing about your famous patty melt I think I can eat. Can you make two?"

"You that hungry?"

"No. My roommate is here too and I told him about your sandwich and he said he would love to try one."

"Ahhh I guess I'm a legend. I'll have them ready in thirty minutes."

"Alright thanks."

Making my way to the media room to watch a movie and wait for the food, which is where my boyfriend finds me.

"There you are. I almost got lost."

"Hey that was a quick nap."

"I couldn't sleep."

Feeling a little worried because a couple of days ago he woke up with a fever, "everything okay?"

Walking over to sit next me, "I'm fine so stop worrying. I guess I just have come depended on having you in my arms or least in the room."

"Aww you missed me."

"Shut up. What's that smell?"

"That would be Rogers famous patty melts."

"Seriously?"

"Yeah you finally get to try it."

Looking around he makes sure no one is around, "have I told you how much I loved you."

"Yes you have but it's always good to hear."

We make our way into the kitchen to eat. Once done and Zaire is done moaning at his meal we get ready to head downstairs to the Oval to meet my dad.

"So you ready for this?"

"I guess. I survived Liv right?"

"There's nothing to worry about. Don't think of him as the President, he's just my dad."

"Babe either situation is nerve wrecking but I can do this. I just hope he likes me."

"He will my love."


	12. Meeting Dad

"Hey Lauren"

"Well look at you F4. How are you?"

"Good and yourself?

"I'm good thank you for asking. Who is this?"

"This is Zaire he's my roommate at school. He's spending the holidays with us."

"Oh well, welcome to the White House sir. You guys can go in he's waiting on you."

Before we enter I give Zaire a smile because he has nerves written all over him.

"You'll be fine."

"Says the First Son."

I open the door and walk in to see my dad sitting in his chair reading over some papers. I've missed him. Even though he tries his hardest to come see me or talk to me I know he's a busy man and I don't hold that against him. I am happy, I don't have to ask or want for anything and plus I'm proud of my father he followed his dreams and became the President and if I might say he's doing a bang up job. He looks up and sees us and smiles a familiar smile that makes me miss him even as I'm standing in front of him.

"Jerry," he meets me halfway and we fall into a big bear hug, "I missed you. How are you?" he says as placing a kiss on top of my head.

"I missed you too dad. I've been good; you know doing the teenage thing."

"That's good to here but I hope it's not too much of the teenage thing," shooting me a warning look

"You are correct not too much of it, plus I know you get updates constantly so there's that."

"Hmmm, sorry about that you must be my son's roommate Zaire?"

"Yes sir Mr. President."

"Please none of the Mr. President. You can call me Mr. Grant."

"Alright Mr. Grant."

"I hope Jerry isn't too much to live with all the security."

"It's no problem at all. Jerry is pretty good roommate and we became good friends.

"Well that's good."

"So dad how's work going?"

Laughing, "It's the same old stuff, to go to war or not go to war is the question."

"You still use that corny joke," I drop my head down and shake it because he didn't realize how he just embarrassed me

"I told him the same thing but he thinks he is funny," we all turn around to find Liv standing in the doorway smiling at us.

Zaire and I both run over to her and gather her in a hug leaving my dad confused to say the least

"Hey I'm funny. Am I missing something, do you all know each other?"

"Mr. President I went to visit Jerry here after his championship game and met Zaire then."

"Liv stop with the Mr. President crap," he says while dropping to one of the sofas, "I really did try to make that son."

"Don't worry dad I celebrated quite nicely."

"I bet you did," Liv says making both of us blush and avoid eye contact.

"Is there a story behind that?"

Panic rises in me and before I can answer Liv speaks up, "No it just ended with me whooping both of them in a couple of games."

Talk about a sigh of relief, "so what's this big party happening around here?"

"Ughhh…"

"I swear you don't want to plan anything," Liv sits down next to him but not close, while my dad casually throws his arm over the back so his fingertips are at the base of her neck and I see her relax. I can't help but smile and think this is a meeting the parents type of thing, which in a sense it is.

"It's not that I don't want to plan, it's who I have to plan with and I have to campaign to be President while I am President. It's draining."

"It will be fine, as for your campaign why are worrying so much, we are winning this on your terms. Speaking of which I should get going."

Zaire spoke for the first time, "Liv are you coming? I know my parents would love that I got to meet the President but also meet the great Olivia Pope."

"No sweetie I have a case."

"That sucks I kind of was hoping that I could show them I am doing fine and they can stop hounding me."

"Don't worry Zaire she will be there."

"Fitz I…"

"Liv don't worry about it. Plus it's a Presidential order, a client request if that doesn't work."

We all talk and laugh some more until dad has to go back to work. We say our goodbyes but not before I pick Liv up in a hug and whisper hi mom in her ear. Zaire gives he a hug too and we make our way back to the residence.

"So seems my son has taken a likening to you and so has his roommate."

"Like father like son."

"Ha I hope not. It will break his heart to know that his old man has your heart."

"Is that so Mr. President?"

"Mmmhmmm say it again."

"Mr. President," Liv says in a low sexy voice. During their whole exchange they ended up by their window so the cameras wouldn't catch anything.

Holding her close to him and leaning his head, "before you go can I ask you something."

"Sure."

"Did that whole ordeal meeting Zaire feel more like parents meeting the boyfriend than meeting a friend?"

"Are you trying to ask me if I think Jerry is gay and Zaire is his boyfriend?"

"In a since yeah."

"Well Mr. President that is something you should ask your son. But I do get what you mean by it feeling like us sitting there like parents," and she walks out the Oval office leaving Fitz with a smile on his face and longing to hold her again.


	13. Christmas Wish

Fitz POV

The holidays were always the hardest. I was here entertaining people that were only there for something. I loved that all my kids were under my roof again, it felt right. They were not suppose to be living on campuses until they were 18 but I once again didn't put my foot down and was talked into sending them away. Don't get me wrong I love my children but people forget that I am human too. I make mistakes, can be confusing and fall in love. I made a mistake and married the wrong woman, I became confused when another woman that wasn't my wife came into my life and brought strong emotions out of me and I fell in love with her. Did I love Mellie, yes, but it felt more out of obligation; it wasn't the type of love I wanted and saw myself having. I had to try hard too many times to figure her out, I couldn't understand her moods, the look on her face, and we couldn't have silent conversations. I couldn't be me, I had to hide the real me from her because she would always make my feelings feel like they weren't up to standard for others.

But the light in my life didn't make me feel like that. From the moment I saw her I was stunned by her. Of course she was beautiful but the way she was talking and looking directly at me made me fall. She was real she gave it to me straight and to be honest I didn't like that, it was one of the two reasons I fired her the other was I wanted to kiss her so badly and make her mine. Over the years we have been playing the emotions from love, heartache, deceit, betrayal, all of the above. We tried to stop but for me it wasn't that easy she was always the one I wanted, I needed her, she was in my blood, and I found my heart. I knew it wasn't fair to her that I couldn't love her in the light but damn that woman had me and I would take her anyway I could but that got tiring and I wanted more and still do. I never lied to her about my love and never will. I might be over fifty but as far as love I am a young. I lied to myself for years of what love was and I never had a good role model in that department. Seeing my parents in a loveless, political marriage, hearing the arguments, finding about all the other woman my father banged. I swore to myself I would never be like him but as I stand here I am just like him. I cheated on my wife, and cheated on the person I call the love of my life. I hurt her so much she just keeps calling herself a mistress and I don't know how to fix it.

I feel like the Grinch moping and staring out at the snow. It feels like there is a lead blanket on me all the time when she is not near. I know she is most likely with her friends but I can't help but want her with me. I want to be the one she smiles and laughs with. I want to be able to sneak glances at her and see her be free with those around her. I want to be the one that she just can't help but spend time with. I just want her, no scratch that I want her and I want to make her happy which will make me happy. Ever since that damn dinner where Mellie made an ass of herself I can't help but want to run away to the home I had built for us. The first time I took her there we fought cleared the air a little and made love for hours. Being with her makes me whole, it makes me feel like I am doing right as a man, she makes me feel wanted, needed and loved. You know what that is what I want for Christmas I want her and the kids can come too. Even if it is for a fleeting moment I want my family, my dream, my future, just for one minute.

I pick up the phone and dial her, "Hi." She answers.

One simple word from her and I'm putty in her hands, "Hi. Run away with me?"

"What?"

"You, me, the kids, and our home. Let's just go home."

"Fitz…"

"Please Livvie. I miss you."

"Fitz we can't."

"Why not," I start begging.

"Because. What would you tell the kids or the press? How about I would be in my own house not being able to sleep in my own bed, so please tell me how this will work."

"Liv I wasn't…"

"Of course you weren't. You think I don't want to be in our home with the kids for Christmas instead of sitting her once again alone in my apartment wishing and hoping."

"Livvie..."

"Don't. Just don't."

We sit in silence on the phone for awhile listening each other breathe. It's a silent way of saying our sorry and it is dropped.

Breaking the silence and fearing her hanging up, "tell me something."

"Like what?"

"It doesn't matter anything. I just need to hear your voice. I just need..please."

"Fine. For someone in the senior citizen age range you have a killer body and stroke game," laughing at the fact she just said that.

"Not expecting that but you see I have this young beautiful woman who I am in love with and I got to keep my body up for her. As for my stroke game well she brings it out of me."

"She is a very lucky girl."

"No I'm just a lucky man that even is lucky to be noticed by her. Hell she even looks at me or even talks to me is a win for me.

Laughing and falling back into a comfortable silence Liv was the first to break it, "Merry Christmas Fitz."

"Merry Christmas my lovely Livvie."


End file.
